Switching to English is not a failure of willpower. It is a completely rational decision, made very fast, about what a conversation is going to cost you.
In Dutch you are slower. You are less precise. You cannot make the point the way you would make it, and you certainly cannot make the joke. In English all of that comes back the moment you switch, and so does the version of yourself you recognise.
So of course you switch. Anyone would. The trouble is that the conversations you switch out of are exactly the ones that would have moved you forward, and the ones you stay in are the ones that were easy anyway. Staying in Dutch in the expensive conversations is where professional Dutch is actually built.
The comparison that makes it worse
Most people are not comparing their Dutch to their Dutch of six months ago. They are comparing it to their English, which they have used through their studies and their entire career.
Measured against that, your Dutch will lose every single time, for years. It is a comparison that guarantees you feel behind no matter how much progress you make, and it makes ordinary conversations feel like a test you are failing.
You are not bad at Dutch. You are excellent at English, and standing next to it.
What actually changes it
Not more vocabulary. Two much smaller things.
The first is deciding beforehand. In the moment you will always take the cheaper route, because that is what the moment is for. So the choice has to be made before you walk in: this conversation is in Dutch, even if it goes badly, and yes, it might.
The second is giving up on understanding everything. This is the one that frees people. You do not need to catch every word to take part in a conversation. You need enough to respond, and the willingness to ask about the rest while staying in Dutch. Waiting until you understand it all is what keeps people stuck for years, because that moment does not arrive.
Someone who used to switch every time
A full hour, in Dutch, without switching once
Zsuzsa had been in the Netherlands for two and a half years and understood everyday Dutch perfectly well. In practice she still defaulted to English, especially in the more complex or professional conversations, which are of course the ones that matter. As a perfectionist it felt easier to switch than to risk being wrong.
What we worked on was not vocabulary. It was activating the Dutch she already had, and staying in it even when things were not fully clear.
“The biggest difference? I actually enjoy speaking Dutch now.”
Zsuzsa, B1 to B2
A while later she sat down with her youngest daughter's teacher to talk about how she was doing at school. The conversation lasted about an hour. She understood roughly eighty to ninety percent, asked when she missed something, explained what she thought, and stayed in Dutch the whole way through. English still slips in sometimes. She continues in Dutch anyway.
Four things to try this week
- Pick the conversation in advance. One, this week, that you decide is in Dutch before it starts. Low stakes on purpose.
- Say it out loud at the start. Ik wil het graag in het Nederlands proberen. Now the other person knows, and switching back costs more than continuing.
- Ask instead of retreating. When you lose the thread, kun je dat nog een keer zeggen? keeps you in Dutch. Switching to English ends the practice.
- Stop comparing it to your English. Compare it to your Dutch three months ago. That is the only comparison that tells you anything true.
If the words are not arriving at all under pressure, that is a different problem and it has its own page: why you understand Dutch but cannot speak it. If the room where you keep switching is a meeting, that one is worth reading too, and if it is a client conversation, the stakes there are different again.
Somewhere to stay in Dutch on purpose
The reason switching wins is that real conversations are expensive. The free Spreekwafel app costs nothing at all: ten minutes a day, out loud, no one to disappoint.
And in Spreekwafel Circle nobody switches to English for you, because everyone is there for the same reason. Speaking with professionals at your own level every week, with feedback. The group starts on 1 October 2026.
Not sure which fits? Ask me, and I will say honestly if neither does.
Questions people ask about this
Why do I switch to English when I can speak Dutch?
Usually because switching is cheaper in the moment. Dutch costs you speed, precision and a bit of dignity, and English gives all three back instantly. The problem is that the moment you avoid is exactly the one that would have moved you forward.
How do I stop switching to English mid conversation?
Decide before the conversation, not during it. In the moment you will always take the easier route, so make the choice in advance: this conversation is in Dutch, even if it goes badly. And accept in advance that it might.
What if I do not understand everything?
Continue anyway. You do not need to understand every word to take part, and waiting until you do is what keeps people stuck for years. Ask for the part you missed and carry on in Dutch.
What if the other person switches to English?
Say that you would like to keep going in Dutch. They switched to be helpful, not to correct you, and almost everyone switches back happily when asked.
Does it ever stop feeling uncomfortable?
Yes, and sooner than you think. The discomfort is front loaded: the first handful of conversations are genuinely unpleasant and after that it becomes ordinary, and then at some point it becomes something you enjoy.
Written by Jacky van der Starre, who teaches professionals to speak the Dutch they already understand.